Friday, June 26, 2009

Unhappy Birthday.

Due to the ABSOLUTE FUCKING NONSENSE that has transpired over the past 24 hours, tomorrow I will be spending my birthday NOT in the Mojave desert having a deeply enlightening spiritual experience with copious amounts of wine and peyote, NOT gleefully spraying overweight lesbians with water guns on a Toronto Gay Pride Parade float while dressed up like a unicorn Rainbow Brite hybrid of amazingness, and NOT out and about in a shiny little dress.

Instead I will be home, alcohol-less, fun-less, sex-less and hopped up on painkillers (meaning I also HAVE TO EAT (a.k.a. be fat) lest I want to suffer internal bleeding too) due to a cripplingly painful bacterial infection I incurred from shaving my goddamn leg the other day.

Unhappy birthday to me in-fucking-deed.

P.S. If I sound beyond angry at the world/myself/Bic razors/hospitals/drugs that you can't drink while taking right now it's because I AM.
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4 comments:

  1. Abstaining IreneJune 26, 2009 at 11:15 PM

    sorry to hear that your birthday was no fun! You'll have to just have a belated, mojave, peyote, gay pride, sexing megababe birthday when you're feeling better. The great thing about birthdays is they can really take place whenever you want! Feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. NonameJune 28, 2009 at 2:20 AM

    Man, I remember how fucking angry and horny I was when my boyfriend stopped seeing me last year. It's like this to a tee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fweng EbolaJune 28, 2009 at 3:45 PM

    JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST!
    Uh, happy birthday?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LoraJune 30, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    boo to that bacterial infection that seems to be plaguing so many people lately. I'm almost convinced to just buy some Nair.

    ReplyDelete

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