Thursday, December 31, 2009

Mirages of Matchstick Men (and you).

Sublime Oh Nine.

Made it through, didn't I?

It's not so cut and dry as beginnings and endings in some respects. And I don't know what I want to say right now, but I know I want to say something. So writing, sitting here on bones and in skin that isn't as uncomfortable to be inside as it was at this time last year, feels more right than I know or have any words to type. I need to say something honest, start this year with honesty. Be a real, apologetically honest human being.

hon·est (ŏn'ĭst)
  1. Marked by or displaying integrity; upright.

  2. Not deceptive or fraudulent; genuine.

  3. Equitable; fair.

    1. Characterized by truth; not false.

    2. Sincere; frank.

    3. Of good repute; respectable.

    4. Without affectation; plain.

    1. Of good repute; respectable.

    2. Without affectation; plain.

  4. Virtuous; chaste.

All of them. And find out what I've actually been hiding from all these years, and if it's really as scary as I've made it out to be in my head.

It's hard to trust, but it gets easier the more you do it.

And splitting yourself into a million selves? Easy. The only part of it that's a little tricky is maintaining them. But finding yourself, being one single self? Harder than it looks.

But it gets easier the more you do it.

Happy New Year!

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