03/02/2009

We had some good times together.
Some really, really bad ones too.
I'm so happy to be out, even at my lowest of lows. It's how I know what I did was right. And my god, the times I've had since then! Cab rides and 7-1¹pit stops with someone I don't even like on my arm, late nights on Sundays with looming dawn and talk of scary pasts, phones being stolen right out of my hand for number entry that neither will call, but same-room texting has been great for now. And oh! The morning with the view of the scummy city lake and cheeseburgers and BMW Bob Dylan singalongs. My brain works in an absolutely gorgeous way sometimes. Brains. Firing off neurons and hard-ons and cheap dirty thrills with desk jobs that pay the bills to wake up to. Alarm clocks to be set and helpless loves to pay their rent. Money loans, interest rates, heart attacks, open windows. The calm only seems to come with substances these days and walks outside for cigarettes aren't enough to wake me up. Pull the covers up again, again.